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Do you feel like you truly understand men?  Much has been written about how men don’t understand women, but the truth is that there is a whole lot about men that women don’t understand as well.  The point is not to spark a debate about “the battle of the sexes” or anything like that.  Rather, it is important for all of us to understand that there is a tremendous amount of confusion about what it means “to be a man” in America today.  So many of our young men seem lost, so many of our older men seem defeated and depressed, and all over this country families are completely falling apart.  We need to understand our problems so that we can start focusing on solutions.  Below, I have shared 17 things about men that most women don’t know.  Some of them are funny, some of them are quite interesting and some of them are extremely serious.  But all of them say something about where we are as a society today…

#1 When women age, they tend to become attracted to older men.  For example, one study found that 20-year-old women are most attracted to 23-year-old men and 50-year-old women are most attracted to 46-year-old men.  But the same is not true when we look at men.  That same study found that 20-year-old men are most attracted to 20-year-old women and 50-year-old men are most attracted to 22-year-old women.

#2 Many men often put on a bold front, but inside they are not nearly as secure.  At least that is what one survey found.  When presented with the statement “I am not always as confident as I look”, 76 percent of men chose the response “I feel like this regularly/sometimes”.

#3 If you could look into their hearts, you would find that most men are not truly happy.  In fact, one survey of 50-year-old men found that only 12 percent of them said that they were “very happy”.

#4 Many men still believe in traditional gender roles.  For example, one survey found that 57 percent of men expect to always pay on a date.  Alternatively, 20 percent believed that whoever initiated the date should pay, and 18 percent believed that date costs should be split.

#5 If women are wondering if it has become harder to find men that are in good shape, that is because it is true.  According to the CDC, 34.6 percent of all men in America are obese at this point.  But that doesn’t mean that men are tolerant of weight gain in women.  Sadly, one survey discovered that 50 percent of men would dump their partner “if they gained a significant amount of weight”.

#6 Most single men realize that women consider financial security to be an extremely important factor in attractiveness.  One recent survey found that “a steady job” is the number one thing that women are looking for in a husband, and another survey discovered that 75 percent of women would have a serious problem dating an unemployed man.  As a result of these attitudes, many men measure their self-worth by the size of their paychecks.

#7 In recent years, the number of men that are struggling to find work has reached new heights.  In fact, the inactivity rate for men in their prime working years (25 to 54) is now at the highest level that has ever been recorded.

#8 86 percent of men include “having children” in their definition of success.  For women, that number is only 73 percent.

#9 Many men also wish that they could spend less time working and more time with their children.  One poll found that 46 percent of fathers say that they don’t spend enough time with their kids.